I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
