Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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