This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
