Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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