Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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