i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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