So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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