Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize