there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
