what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
