Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
