So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
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Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
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You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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