Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
