It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
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Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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