u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Drunk is a universal language darling
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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