I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
