do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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