i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
love makes seman taste better
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I didn't notice because vodka
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
