Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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