he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
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I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
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Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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