All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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