ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
