i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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