idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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