Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
