Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
