They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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