woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
