i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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