I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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