We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
