think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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