dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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