why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
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I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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