Where did you get a picture of my penis
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
They took my balls.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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