I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
