Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
