Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
