I want to have your abortion
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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