Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
