How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
