People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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