So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
