just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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