For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
