tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize