their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
