party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
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I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
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I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
did i just pee glitter
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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