I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
