We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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