I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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