I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
