Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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