Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
