i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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