I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
