i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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